Most of us at some time want to evoke change.
We want our spouse to notice us, to appreciate us. We want our kids to pick up after themselves, we want someone to change their behavior.
What is the best way to entice change with seeming persnikety, or unrealistic?
Step 1 – Start with a compliment! Yes, if you want to grow a new behavior, make sure the soil is ready to accept the idea. If you jump right into your comment, the receiver will just feel you are pointing a finger at them. All they will be thinking about is how rude you are. There is always a sincere compliment you can open with. You do appreciate their involvement, and you do appreciate their enthusiasm, but if they don’t mind.. would they consider a small observation?
Step 2 – Don’t belabor the point, observation or request. It won’t help and so save your time and energy. Compliment them again that they listened to your point of view; not everyone is willing to listen to feedback and give it a fair evaluation.
Step 3 – Walk away. Control your own attitude about the situation. That you do have a chance to control and effect. It could be worse, most likely it is not a life or death situation. Count your blessings, and that always makes me feel better.
Again – have some situation you want to change? Remember first to set the stage and include the carrot. There must be something in it for them!
I hear echos of Toastmaster Evaluation guidelines in this advice. And I completely agree. I would especially emphasize point 3. Realizing that even with the best of intentions and the best methods, inducing some changes in other may just not happen.
Isn’t Toastmasters all about life? Dan, thanks for your comment. Did you know we are both being Area governors for the first time?
I did, in fact. I look forward to comparing notes as the year progresses.