Tears expected, or not

Thanks for visiting Life and Random Thinking today. – David

2012-07-26 13.11.06

There is a saying that time heals wounds, 

but I think some wounds never heal completely.  They can still twinge a hot stab of pain that usually passes quickly to remind you that you are not quite whole, not the same you that you were before.

I know that is true for me, 

Awhile back I was up early in the morning so that I could be first in line at the hospital to have my blood taken.

I have regular blood tests monthly to ensure my kidney transplant is doing well.  The older nurse was friendly, and we were just chatting about Moms. Unexpectedly my eyes filled with tears. The nurse was kind and understanding, she gave me a hug, and I took a minute to collect myself before I left to go home. Those tears came from nowhere, but I am not ashamed.

My fruit trees get sprayed a few times a year,

I phone the company and I pay them over the phone, over the years the receptionist has become familiar and we chat awhile.  This time I had no idea what set off my tears, but I was something she said had me thinking of Mom.She was always genuinely loving  to me.  She showed her care and kindness to me and others in many ways.


Today on June 6 there are tears also,

it’s been two years since my Mom, Lillian, passed 11 a.m. on June 6, 2018.

She would be overjoyed that I had my new kidney transplant last year.

She would be proud that I am trying to lose weight and be healthy.

She would be doing her painting, knitting and making her homemade cards for her friends.

She would be enjoying her hummingbirds and the garden in her back yard.

She would soak up every minute of our telephone calls as well as calls to her other family and many friends.

I do celebrate today my mom, Lillian, but I have some regrets I could have done more for her. I wish I had done more to show her what a great person she was, and what she meant to me. She never asked much, visits, a game of crib, a phone call or a card regularly was all she asked for.

If you want to know more about my Mom, click HERE



The lesson I have learned is

that I don’t have to have a heart attack before I learn a better appreciation of life and what’s important, I will do that NOW

that I don’t have to wait until someone is sick, or injured to tell them that their life is important to me, that I care about them, that I love them, that I think they are special, I will do that NOW


I’m not ashamed of tears; 

The benefits of crying include:

  1. The release of endorphins
  2. Lowering of stress
  3. The releasing of toxins
  4. It is an emotional signal to other people we need more support
  5. Helps you to sleep better
  6. Its good for your skin
  7. Relieves certain types of headaches, ie. tension headaches
  8. Makes you realise you’ll be okay: the pain ebbs, and the endorphins fill your body.

Don’t shy away. Feel it all; even if you cry happy tears.

(the griefrealityblog:Cry to Me)

About dfolstad58

I live in the South Okanagan. BC. I enjoy reading, exercise, toastmasters. spending time with my son, my daughter, & her husband , and my patient wife. I try to respond personally to every comment on my blog, and in this way I hope to get to know my readers a little bit and and am able to thank readers for their encouragement on what they liked and suggestions on what they would like to see me try in order to improve.
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30 Responses to Tears expected, or not

  1. David, such a wonderful post!
    I agree that we should express our sad and happy emotions openly. It helps us to feel and think better.
    I am sure your mom is very much proud of you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. lghiggins says:

    Such a nice post about your mom. I can tell she was a very special lady. This is a great reminder to all to tell those people we love and cherish just how we feel about them.


  3. Bob Smith says:

    What a lovely post Dave. Glad the transplant is doing well, blood work for me is Tuesday. How is your Dad.


  4. Susanne says:

    I occasionally am overwhelmed by a memory of my mother and tear up. Its not that wound has been reopened so much as a wish I’d done better as a daughter and, like you said, told her more often how much I appreciated her. My mother died in 1993 – so those emotions never really leave – they just take on different forms as we grow older ourselves and grow in understanding our parents.


    • dfolstad58 says:

      Dear Susanne, thank you for visiting my blog today. That is how I feel, I wish I had been a better son. I hoped that the message “not to wait” was heard as the gift to them inside my post. – David

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Southern Patches says:

    Your mom sounds like a wonderful person. A lot like my mama. I would loved to have had a chat with her. I am sure you have been given a lot of her wonderful caring. As for the tears I have them freely and never try to stop them from coming. Sending you a hug across the miles.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jane Fritz says:

    A lovely post, David. Those of us who have these cherished memories of our mothers, as you do and so do I, are indeed blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. gifted50 says:

    A lovely post and a beautiful tribute, she was a beautiful woman.


  8. Beautiful tribute to your mom. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh this is such a heartfelt post. I’m glad that you’re changing your life for the better. Your mom would be so proud.


  10. Sandra J says:

    So beautiful David, we all have days like that. Time passes by so fast, I love taking moments to remember those who have gone before me and the sweet times of younger days. Days to remember.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ernie Sheridan says:

    Great post and photos Dave!

    Thank you,

    Ernie Sheridan http://www.LiveInTheOk.com

    On Sat, 6 Jun 2020 at 11:11, Life and Random Thinking wrote:

    > dfolstad58 posted: “Thanks for visiting Life and Random Thinking today. – > David There is a saying that time heals wounds, but I think some wounds > never heal completely. They can still twinge a hot stab of pain that > passes quickly to remind you that you are not quite whole” >

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lynn says:

    Such a beautiful tribute to your Mom David, and such an important message to share. We never know what lies ahead for any of us, it is so important to remind our loved ones how much they mean to us here & now.

    As for the tears, from one leaky eye person to another, I get it! Sometimes, out of the blue, emotion just spills out. It’s a good thing!💕


  13. This brings tears to my eyes even as I type this. My mom’s passing will be one year on June 23rd, and yes, I’ve had a number of moments where they just happen. Thank you for sharing.


  14. Great post David. We miss our good Mom’s so much when they are gone. There are times I’ve played over in my mind moments when I wasn’t the daughter I should have and could have been and it pains me still, even though we were as close as thieves the last few years of her life as she lived in a little home on our property and I cared for many of her daily needs. So I understand your feelings and still have those unexpected upwellings even nineteen years after she left us. Thank you for sharing this and for the validation of how healthy it is to allow ourselves to feel things freely and have a good cry if we need to. You are an encourager and a good soul David. Your Mom would be proud of your efforts both in your personal desire to be better and stronger and here on your blog.


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