Guest Blog Today – Chuckle Guaranteed

While I should be writing a post today, and I might still – I wanted to gift my readers with a Guest Blog today.

Photo by Frank Mita on Pexels.com

Today while visiting “Robby Robin’s Journey” – Male-Female Communications – she commented on the humourous side of male / female communications and supported it with a link to another blog (which I will share below) – and she shared the story about Roger and Elaine (below). So good that I am sharing it also.

I hope you chuckle and visit BOTH of the blog sites shared♥♥♥ – David

Please enjoy the story – Clink Link to the blog story originator “A Story about Making Cider, Well Sort of” or read it below♥

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Roger and Elaine

Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.  He asks her out to a movie.  She accepts.  They have a pretty good time.  A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.  They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither of them is seeing anyone else.  And then, one evening when they are driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and without really thinking, she says it aloud:

“Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other exactly six months?” 

And then there is silence in the car.  To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.  She thinks to herself; Ge’ez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that.  Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Roger is thinking:  Gosh, six months.

And Elaine is thinking:  But, hey, I’m not sure I want this kind of relationship either.  Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward….I mean, where are we going?  Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy?  Are we headed toward marriage?  Toward children?  Toward a lifetime together?  Am I ready for that level of commitment?  Do I really know this person?

And Roger is thinking:  So that means it was…let’s see…it must have been February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s which means…lemme check the odometer….Whoa!  I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s upset.  I can see it on his face.  Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong.  Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it…that I was feeling some reservations…Yes, I bet that’s it.  That’s why he is so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings.  He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking:  And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again.  I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right.  And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time.  What cold weather?  It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking:  He’s angry.  And I don’t blame him.  I’d be angry too.  I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel.  I’m just not sure.

And Roger is thinking:  They’ll probably say it’s only a 90 day warranty.  That’s exactly what they’re gonna say, the scumbags.

And Elaine is thinking:  Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me.  A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking:  Warranty?  They want a warranty?  I’ll give them a warranty!

“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.

“What?” says Roger, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.  Maybe I should never have….Oh my….I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing)

 “What?” says Roger

 “I’m such a fool,” Elaine sobs.  “I mean, I know there ‘s no knight.  I really know that.  It’s silly.  There’s no knight and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Roger

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you.”   Elaine says.

“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…It’s that I…I need some time,” Elaine says.  (There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response.  Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work)

“Yes,”he says.  (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

     “Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?” she says.

      “What way?”  says Roger.

      “That way about time,” says Elaine.

“Oh,” says Roger. “Yes.”

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse.)

At last she speaks: “Thank you, Roger.”  she says.

  “Thank you,” says Roger.

Roger then takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakian’s  he never heard of.  A tiny voice in the far recesses  of his mind tells him that something major was going on back in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.  (This is also Roger’s policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.  In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.  They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with Norm, a mutual friend of his and Elaine’s will pause just before serving, frown, and say; “Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?”

About dfolstad58

I live in the South Okanagan. BC. I enjoy reading, exercise, toastmasters. spending time with my son, my daughter, & her husband , and my patient wife. I try to respond personally to every comment on my blog, and in this way I hope to get to know my readers a little bit and and am able to thank readers for their encouragement on what they liked and suggestions on what they would like to see me try in order to improve.
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24 Responses to Guest Blog Today – Chuckle Guaranteed

  1. Darlene says:

    This is very funny. I used it in my communications workshop a few years back. It’s also not far from the truth.

    Like

  2. they should both get a dog and not date each other ever again….or anyone for that matter!
    Btw,that eagle picture above shows the female yelling at the male…….which seems fitting.

    Like

  3. heimdalco says:

    That’s just cool no matter where I read it or how many times. I hope blogger DM knows how much we’ve enjoyed it & how much ‘milage’ it’s getting. He will certainly be pleased

    Like

  4. I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts! This is hysterical. Thank you, oh how I needed a good laugh today! Hugs, C

    Like

  5. K.L. Hale says:

    I needed this laugh! Chuckles, giggles, grins…I’ll take them. It’s SO true, too!

    Like

  6. I read Jane’s blog and thought it was hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lol. This was really humourous. I really enjoyed it. It’s no wonder that they say that men and women are from different worlds. Thanks a lot for sharing this, David. I really enjoyed it

    Like

  8. lghiggins says:

    This is SO funny; Roger could be a pseudonym for my husband. This is exactly the kind of communication we have sometimes.

    Like

  9. lghiggins says:

    So true to life. Women tend to overthink scenarios like this, and men go off in a whole different direction. It is a wonder we have relationships at all.

    Like

    • dfolstad58 says:

      I think that’s where the balance comes from. Women’s tendency to overthink may be what brings the whipped cream and the nice dishes to a meal, while without them it would be plain pie and paper plates. – David

      Liked by 1 person

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