Only two words

Posted on May 26, 2014 by dfolstad58

Two words for me ? cheerful optimistic

dfolstad58's avatarLife and Random Thinking

This post started in grade 12. I went to Burnaby North High School.  Sitting around talking with my closest friends; we challenged each other to find only two words to describe each other.

In this “game” the objective was to summarize how you saw that person.  We took our time and I remember I thought the words insightful, and I think the others did. It was quite a challenge but as you search for just the right words, you realize you have to boil down your word pictures to how you see that person’s strongest characteristic in your friendship with them.

What two words would you like to summarize you?  Are you thinking perhaps “loyal”, “considerate”,  “supportive”, “generous”.  What if acquaintances described you as “selfish”, “aloof” or “predictable”, or possibly “stingy”?

Of course, we cannot help all the impressions we create for ourselves, especially when they are brief, or while…

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Fence Sitting hurts, and gets you nowhere

Posted on May 26, 2014 by dfolstad58

time 4Life is daily decision making. Some are easy, like where where to eat lunch, or deciding on what book to read.

Some decision are huge, what career should you follow? Where should you live?  Should I get married?

I suppose we all have our own methods of making a decision and hopefully take the time to use the resources we have to make an informed decision such as consulting friends, or family who know us, using the internet or library resources to learn more to help us understand our options and result of our decisions whether yay or nay.

But some people never make a decision if they can help it.  They sit on the fence metaphorically and never make a firm commitment.

time 3I belong to Toastmasters and as a result of years of belonging I have seen the widespread positive effects to has for people who get involved, and grow by their commitment. I see others pass it by,  admitting it looks good but never visiting as a guest but simultaneously acknowledging the value it could have to them.  The problem is usually, inability to make a decision.

Others I have met,  I have invited them and they visit right away, and join giving themselves a night out doing something educational, fun, and beneficial in a myriad of ways. The difference is the ability to commit and the ability to grab opportunity.

Of course, you shouldn’t take advantage of every opportunity you have just as you can’t turn down every lane you see when you are driving because you would never get anywhere.

But when you turn down an opportunity, you should consider the result. If you are just not interested, fine. If you are interested but can’t commit, then maybe you need to nudge yourself and get out of a rut. Choose what is best for you, but when choices come your way that have great potential, with no downsides, those are the ones you shouldn’t hesitate on.

Fence sitting develops numbness and causes inertia, both hindrances to personal growth and new doors, new friends, and more opportunities.

fence sittingAre you fence sitting?  Are you missing an opportunity that you are invited to participate in ? Have you checked into it and you like it? Have you used your resources to learn more so you are informed and knowledgeable?

Get off that fence, one side or the other – life is too short to miss out on.

Take the small risks and you”ll be happy you didn’t perch forever.

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We shouldn’t be surprised when it happens, we should expect it

Posted on May 22, 2014 by dfolstad58

A few minutes ago I was relaxing reading another Stuart Woods novel, I’m going through those books like free drinks at an all inclusive resort.  But I digress,  the phone rings and a polite voice asks for me, and once identified requests permission to come provide service in 20 minutes.

sprayingIt’s my tree spraying service guy, he sprays my plum and cherry tree, and today he makes a strong, memorable impression that is positive. Isn’t that a pleasant change?

I’m talking about manners, especially verbally. Good Manners, not only should it happen, we should expect it, nay,  demand it.

I decided to quickly lawnmow the last corner of my lawn that I was going to do later so since this guy isn’t coming for 20 minutes, I zip outside and out back to get’er done.

About 10 minutes later,  Cody, the sprayer is peeking over my fence into my back yard.  I notice he doesn’t barge in, I notice he doesn’t yell at me to get my attention, he could have been waiting a few minutes but he didn’t mention it.

So I  shut down the mowing beast, and Cody addressed me as Sir. He says that a breeze has popped up and would it be alright if he delayed until 5:30 AM tomorrow. I say fine, and he thanks me again and calls me SIR again.  (He is already here, has his truck, he’s wearing his mask on his head, but he wants to do the best job I presume so he would rather make a second trip, I’m impressed….positively) He makes a quick comment about the good weather and turns to leave and I thank him. He again uses Sir and wishes me a good day.

I am standing beside my lawnmower beast thinking, “We should be surprised about good manners, but I am. But I am also impressed, in the best way.”

cell phonemanners

It gets me thinking about manners. It starts me thinking about business manners and the importance of TSP.

  • Thinking

  • Speaking

  • Persuading

At some point I believe this young man was thinking about his customers, and how he wanted them to feel, perhaps how he likes to be treated.

This thinking lead to him Speaking after thinking, and not without.  You and I are more used to the latter instead of the former.

Since he thought, spoke after thinking, his words had the power of Persuasion.  Not only am I glad of his service, but I would recommend the business.

If you are in business, would you like to Persuade? Probably, and likely you just need to remember the steps that have to precede. Thinking. Speaking.

Etiquette or Manners are the rules of behavior for all types of situations, social, business, at the gym,  in line at Starbucks,  and in your own home.  It strikes me the value of always knowing the rules because they are really to do with respect for others.

Forbes has some rules for us – general use suggestions, read the Starbucks one (rule #7) and see if you don’t nod your head! Link Here

Thanks for reading!

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Optimist or Pessimist – which are you?

Posted on May 8, 2014 by dfolstad58

The story goes that psychologists doing a study picked two boys, one a pessimist and the other an optimist.

rima-hassan-3They put the pessimist in a room filled with toys all wrapped up. In no time at all he had opened the toys up and was complaining they were junk and he was bored, and everything in his life was unbearable.

The optimist was put in a room with a pail and a shovel but the room was piled with manure.

In no time at all the child was squealing with delight as the shovel flew in the child’s hands.  The child explained his joy saying, with all this manure, there has to be a pony in here somewhere, I’ll dig it out!

Cute? Funny? Illustrative?

SAMSUNG DIGIMAX 420Which child am I?  I hope I’m not the pessimist, every day I’m given the gift of a new day.

Every day is filled with opportunity, there may be a mix of manure some days but underneath that manure is my allegorical pony.  I’ll dig that darn pony up, and celebrate the day,  every day for as long as I can.

I hope you find a way to celebrate your day, every day.

Thanks for reading.

 

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Letting Go Of The Trivial

Posted on May 8, 2014 by dfolstad58

I have to agree, if I climbed to the top of a cliff, and was standing on the edge, my mind would be on the moment. Regardless how you get into the moment is a good thing, and being in the moment when spending time with someone is vital, let’s honor the people we are talking to by not dividing our attention. any thoughts?

Clair Marie's avatarBASE girl

triv·i·al ˈtrivēəl/ adjective  1.of little value or importance.

That is the literal definition of trivial. Most people place so much additional importance on small things that at the end of the day, or in the big picture, don’t even matter. We are programed to put more emphasis on small insignificant things…  I am guilty of this myself. Now, level of importance changes from person to person and what we truly value will never match that of someone else. So an understanding of the validity of the saying “one mans trash is another mans treasure”  is key to not judge what others hold important. Over the years I have worked to let go of the trivial aspects of life that most of society places a huge level of importance on. One of the ways to work towards a freedom from the stress of the truly trivial is through meditation.  A solid…

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Big or Small – We all need to take them

Posted on May 3, 2014 by dfolstad58

2005-11-18 12.56.08Sometimes we forget.  Almost everything we can point to in our life,  jobs, friendships, skills,  we have them because we took big or small risks.

Some of those small risks paid out big time.

When you invite a person you hardly know to go for a walk or coffee, you took a risk.  small risk. Big possible gain. I look at some friendships I have, and if either of us had never taken that risk, there would not have been that friendship.

I took a risk asking my wife out for a date 34 years ago, see how that turned out!  But there was a risk she was not the one, a risk I took that she was going to shoot me down or see me as a waste of her time.

Look ahead to what you want in your life,  it will take some risk to gain your vision.

risky

I guess there is no cheese in life if you don’t take a risk.

You can stay in your little bubble, and never take a chance.

You can never try a new hobby, never try to make new friends.

You can never join a club, never try a new sport.

You can never apply for new position or new job.

You can live in the shade all your life, and wonder what it is like in the sun.

pathEvery day look for a chance for a small risk, make a new friend.

You don’t need to jump from airplanes but you do need an attitude of rejecting fear of failure.

So what if I will never run a full marathon. I have run a few 10Ks and surprised myself.  You don’t know what you can do,  YOU don’t know what you CAN do, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW what you can do, if you never give yourself the chance.

Give yourself the chance by taking some risk.

Risk means opportunity, so don’t rob yourself of the opportunity that is yours if you try. Take a little or a big risk, that’s what life is all about. You will encourage others to do the same, it’s all good to take some risk, the payoffs are worth it.

As always, thanks for reading, and taking the time.

 

 

 

 

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