Chapter One NVC – Interacting Skills

September 2, 2011.  I have slowed down writing posts but want to continue to add to this blog and hopefully improve my writing. In fact, I have given myself a slew of personal challenges and tasks for the fall so I will need to be disciplined.

I have a few books on the go right now.  I also need to write out a speech and practice it. It will be ten minutes. Over the last year I have done lots of speaking but not much working on manuals for Toastmasters, making more manual speeches is one of my goals for the fall. Definitely one goal for September!

The educational book I am reading is ” Nonviolent Communication– A Language of Life” (by Marshall B. Rosenberg)= the title is misleading. The book is more of a manual of its own. It points out the pitfalls preventing compassionate communication.  SEE the definition of Compassionate below.

compassionateadjective – sympathetic, kindly, understanding, tender, charitable, humane, indulgent, enevolent, lenient, merciful, kind-hearted, tender-hearted

I have found the reading of the book (Nonviolent Communication – a Language of Life) very challenging, but not because it is written obtusely. The writing is in plain language, but the thoughts, statements, and observations of the book have given me pause for reflection. I have challenged myself and asked myself questions about my methods of communication now, and determined that I can, and must  improve how I respond, and express myself.

Words are Windows (or They’re Walls)

I feel so sentenced by your words,

 I feel so judged and sent away, 

Before I go I’ve got to know

Is that what you meant to say?

Before I rise to my defense,

Before I speak in hurt or fear, 

Before I build that wall of words,

Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they’re walls,

They sentence us, or set us free. 

When I speak and when I hear, 

Let the love light shine through me. 

There are things I need to say, 

Things that mean so much to me, 

If my words don’t make me clear, 

Will you help me to be free? 

If I seemed to put you down, 

If you felt I didn’t care, 

Try to listen through my words

To the feelings that we share. 

(author: Ruth Bebermeyer) 

Chapter ONE

– NVC (Nonviolent Communication) – It is as you would expect, an introduction to the book and the benefits if  you learn his method of communicating.  It not a book that deals solely with resolving conflict and of connecting with others.

When I think about it, that is the goal of communication. Connecting.  The process may be different than what we learned, and experienced while growing up- in our homes, workplaces, and schoolyards.

Nonviolent Communication is a method that allows people too express themselves, and listen to others. If fact, it doesn’t work otherwise.


Like I say about Toastmasters “Communication isn’t optional” – it is true in the workplace, with family, with friends, and in daily living.

I know that strong relationships, and comprehending others is essential to me in my roles in life; I will keep studying ( I am in chapter six now). If you want me to pass on insights from other chapters as I read – let me know.

Speaking of Communication – enjoy this Monty Python youtube: (smile)

About dfolstad58

I live in the South Okanagan. BC. I enjoy reading, exercise, toastmasters. spending time with my son, my daughter, & her husband , and my patient wife. I try to respond personally to every comment on my blog, and in this way I hope to get to know my readers a little bit and and am able to thank readers for their encouragement on what they liked and suggestions on what they would like to see me try in order to improve.
This entry was posted in reading / books, Thinking Out loud, Toastmasters, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Chapter One NVC – Interacting Skills

  1. kw says:

    Nicely done. I just got it from Jan and will start reading it soon.
    See you Tuesday!


  2. Pingback: Practicing Nonviolence in My Mother Tongue Isn’t So Easy | Throwing Back Tokens

  3. Pingback: My Soul Leapt

  4. Pingback: Connect. Think. Lead. | The Monster In Your Head – Blog by Jerry Colonna

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