Last week on July 24, I read an interesting article in the National Post (a Canadian newspaper). The author was Linda Blair and it was titled “Holding a Grudge is self-toxic” expert says.
The article goes on to explain that indulging in a grudge and in particular feeling anger can also compromise our health. Experts say the effects can include higher levels of inflammation and susceptibility to chronic illnesses..
I thought this quote from Angela Buttimer (a psychotherapist from Georgia) from the article was especially memorable “When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.”
The column recommends that we try to avoid that self poisoning via forgiveness, and understanding (try to challenge your own fixed beliefs – it’s like trying to envision their behavior from their perspective).
Consider explanations for the other persons behavior, and utilize breathing and relaxation techniques to calm oneself and the breathing will assist your better judgement. Even slowing down and taking three slow breathes can centre our thinking, keep us from reacting and instead making a response that shows our better judgement. A proper response can save a relationship.
In my experience, dealing with kidney disease since the early 1980’s, and other events over my lifetime- I can honestly share I tried to avoid resentment, and anger about my health. I was aware to realize that my feelings were oblivious to the other party and I was simply preventing myself from enjoying life.
It was the same with my health, if I handled my health problems with a calm and positive attitude I benefited from a myriad of ways including not isolating myself. I still tried to benefit from the strengthening power of gratitude, I always had much to grateful for.
I know I am not alone in facing trials, and not retaining a grudge is something you already know – holding onto negative feelings is only self stressing, and unhealthy, however I thought the article was a positive reminder for myself and proof that indulging in negative thinking has a physical effect.
While I have a moment, I want to share that the positive messages I receive on my blog are appreciated, and likely having a healthy result also. As I am just barely 3 months from my recent kidney transplant (click for my post), and having good reports, I am doubly grateful.
Wishing us all good mental and physical health. – David
Life and Random Thinking 
Feeling angry and resentful does, as you mention, disrupt the enjoyment of life. I find that when you are angry and upset it invades the thought process, the first step of self destruction is not being able to sleep – this releases or accumulates the toxics in the body – and so the process is accumulative. My experience only.
Letting the anger go by replacing it with happiness is the answer. Easy to say but worth the effort.
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thank you James for your comment. I think it is true even if you don’t appear angry, as long as you carry around the grudge, and resentment then you are hurting only yourself. I think also there needs to be a conscious decision to let go of the anger. I appreciate your input.
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Yes, good health is something we all take for granted until we lose it… Hope your recovery keeps on going in the right direction and life can soon resume normality, in whatever form that may be…
Lieve
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Great post 🙂
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Thank you sincerely.
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May you continue to get good reports. Glad you’re doing well. I agree that a positive attitude goes a long way when dealing with health issues.
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Keep writing and keep riding. What a beautiful bicycle!
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Thanks Steve, cycling is a lifetime love of mine
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Great post David. Words to live by.
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Thanks Greg, one i hoped others would find food for thought.
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Great post Dave. I find anger to be extremely exhausting. The last couple of years I have been fighting with anger at the politics around me, and now I am to the point that I can recognize hear and read things I think are very wrong and not feel that buzz in my head of my amygdala being overstimulated, so I think it’s getting much better. I also don’t feel extremely agitated when I engage with people who think entirely differently than I do and I can’t figure out why. I have always tried to maintain healthy relationships and respect for people I know that are political opposites, and it has paid off. I have had a handful of very good conversations with some folks about issues we differ on, and while I still don’t get them, I don’t let it upset me. I just tell them I love them and then I do. Love is an active noun as Mr. Rogers said. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject Dave.
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I appreciate your comment sincerely as on some subjects i am not sure if they are of interest to my blog readers. Letting go and trying to feel gratitude helped me in my life through all the surgeries and times spent in hospital or doing dialysis treatments and all that entails. Anger is exhausting and siphons energy we need to focus on life instead of ourselves. Thank you for your encouragement.
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So happy to hear you are still experiencing healthy results from your recent surgery. I feel very grateful on your behalf as well. Regarding your blog about forgiveness I totally agree, holding a grudge is toxic. Have you ever found though that when you have let go of a grudge the other person is still mad? That has been my experience. Even after years of trying to make amends, and even though I don’t hold the grudge I still feel sad about a broken relationship. Is sadness toxic too?
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I think sadness about broken relationship is natural, especially if it was caused by a betrayal. I don’t expect those relationships can ever return 100%, trust is broken. But over time, some form of the relationship can return. If it was a close relationship likely the loss and regret is felt by both. Life is short, we owe to ourselves to allow healing and let go of the poison and go forward.
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Excellent post, and a good reminder to treat ourselves better. So glad to hear that everything’s going well post-surgery!! Enjoy the long weekend!
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Thanks Debra, weather is great in Penticton and Thursday I had another great doctor report 👍
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Very true! Amen❤️
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Glad you liked my post, and i appreciate your Amen!
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