Happy Spring dear readers!
Spring has arrived and last Sunday when I rode my bike around town, I was surprised at the depth and enthusiasm of the sun worship. People were celebrating a warm late winter day!
It wasn’t that warm in my opinion and although I have spotted a few persons daring Okanagan and Skaha lake already (and I am shocked every time!) with swim suits, it isn’t a behavior that I am likely to copy for a few months at least.
I do cherish the octave my voice is in, and that means no dips in the lake until more than the top few millimetres is warm unless I need to sing soprano.
I was thinking about the “Word of the Day” that I will be presenting this week as part of my Toastmasters meeting and I chose ” Scrupulous” which means “extremely careful, fussy, honest, precise, rigorous, strict”.
I chose this word because I am NOT a fan of the adjectives “Good” or “Fine” and I think you aren’t either.
Did you work really hard on a home project? washing the car? making a delicious homecooked meal?
Would you be happy with this vague feedback such as:
- The meal was fine, or even worse, it was satisfactory?
- You did a “good” job sounds to me like “it was okay“.
I believe people respond to, remember and appreciate less ambiguous feedback.
Recipients respond to, remember and appreciate when we are thoughtful enough to make the time to be specific ♥
I really enjoyed dinner tonight, the extra step of toasting the buns in the oven for the falafels, and the raspberries for the salad really made the meal topnotch. – not “it was good dinner”
I really appreciate how you check in regularly with me, even though you are very busy with all the pressures of work and life – you regularly let me know you are thinking of me and call. – not “you are a good friend”
If you want to improve your communication 90%, then be specific.
Say specifically what actions makes that person special, that meal appreciated, or their friendship unique and your feedback, comment, or discussion will “stand out”.
I predict that:
Sometime someone will look at say to you “ I will never forget how you told me ………….” and it will be because you said something scrupulous.
I will wind up this post with a few photos from recent bike rides, I hope you enjoy. – Thanks for reading, your honest feedback is always welcome ♥ – David
Life and Random Thinking 
What a perfect post for me today because you’re speaking my language! I love this part, “Sometime someone will look at say to you “ I will never forget how you told me ………….” and it will be because you said something scrupulous.” Be specific, great advice. Hugs, C
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Thank you for letting me know I am not “off base”. A compliment, an apology, any feedback ( + or -) needs to be specific to have real value. My wife makes wonderful meals and I would never just say “thanks” because I know what she invests in planning, shopping and work. I let her know how I appreciate it by letting her know what I specifically loved and why. Thank you Cheryl! – hugs, David
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A delightful post. It is so easy to add just an extra word or two that will make the day for someone … & they will feel appreciated.
I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. The weather was iffy … cold to warm later to much warmer so after debating what to wear I put on a jacket I bought in 2009 & really forgot I had. In the waiting room a fellow patient stopped by on her way out & told me, “That jacket looks wonderful on you.” I felt good the rest of the day & have thought about her & how much I really do love that old jacket all day long.
It takes so little …
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Sweet story! I love it. How sweet that she took a second to share she liked your jacket♥ It really doesn’t take long to do something nice. – David ♥
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Thanks for sharing this story as it’s a great example. I recall having a big birthday and feeling a bit down about it. (silly I know) Hubby took me out for a meal and the young waiter took our order, then turned to me and said, “BY the way, I love your hair do. It looks great on you!” That changed everything. If a much younger person could give me a compliment, getting older was not so bad! xo
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♥ = sweet and unexpected : what a lovely twofer!
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Gorgeous photos, by the way
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Thank you. I just came back from a nice long ride with my son and that was my view except we stopped to look at koi at a japanese garden also. Thank you sincerely for your comments. – hugs, David
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You are so right about the importance of word choice, Dave. I think a lot of people struggle to express exactly what they mean in conversations, especially when it comes to sensitive or difficult topics. With writing, we can delete and try again. But saying something out loud can be trickier to correct.
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You are an understanding person Debra. I agree with you that when we write that we can edit and that helps. I think the point I was trying to say, and probably could improve on, was that I appreciate when people go the extra step to be specific. I think others do also.
Instead of “it was a good dinner” – a more meaningful reply would be ” I always appreciate homecooked meals and the planning and effort that goes into them. I also love that yours are healthy and I like them better than dinner out. I loved the vegetarian shepherds pie tonight and it tasted delicious
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Excellent point, Dave!
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I so agree. If someone said the meal I laboured over was “fine” I would probably burst into tears. I recall asking someone how as their recent holiday, and they responded by saying, “It was fine.” I immediately thought they didn’t have a very good time and felt bad for them. I love how your posts get us thinking. I will be sure to add more to me responses and be more scrupulous.
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Thank you for understanding so well Darlene. “Fine” for a meal is just barely better than “satisfactory” and if I ever said that after one of my wife’s thoughtful dinners then I would be having oatmeal for dinner. ha ha.
I also really appreciate how you responded scrupulously letting me know what you liked about the post. ♥♥ hugs – dark chocolate wishes – enjoy your weekend – David
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Hello David, I loved this line: “ducks resting after getting their backs quacked.” Very funny.
Your photos are well focused, clear and beautiful in colour. You have a good camera (or cell phone). I always enjoy seeing your scenery photos.
Carolyn
https://www.carolynwilker.ca/ http://poetpotter.blogspot.ca http://www.editors.ca/profile/2667/carolyn-wilker
“When your words count most, hire an editor.”
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A wonderful scrupulous response Carolyn! I appreciate how you noticed my Dad’s joke and commented and that you liked my other photos of the area. I hope you are enjoying better spring weather and thank you for commenting as I look forward to the comments from kind readers like yourself. – David
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This is a good reminder; I think I am too often lazy with my oral language. On the other hand, my husband doesn’t like any conversation that might approach long-winded (i.e. get to the point). Occasionally a personal comment with someone you don’t know well can unintentionally backfire, but in general they are welcomed. As someone who has had more than his share of medical adventures, you might agree that it is often easier to respond to “how are you?” with “fine” than provide TMI!
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Absolutely true. How are you? is usually not an invitation for a long-winded answer. ha ha. I meant more for when giving compliments (why they are special instead of merely “good” friends) and to show appreciation for kindnesses. I like to thank the nurses and doctors in a specific way and let them know I appreciated their empathy, kindness or our chat during whatever was happening. I think you described it perfectly, there is a time to reticent and a time to take an extra 30 seconds to express what we liked scrupulously. ♥ Thank you Linda for enduring my long absence and encouraging me at every post. – David
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You are welcome, David. I’m glad you are posting again. Your posts vary from thought provoking to inspiring and often educational. 👍
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Thank you Linda, you made me smile today.
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