Tears expected, or not

Thanks for visiting Life and Random Thinking today. – David

2012-07-26 13.11.06

There is a saying that time heals wounds, 

but I think some wounds never heal completely.  They can still twinge a hot stab of pain that usually passes quickly to remind you that you are not quite whole, not the same you that you were before.

I know that is true for me, 

Awhile back I was up early in the morning so that I could be first in line at the hospital to have my blood taken.

I have regular blood tests monthly to ensure my kidney transplant is doing well.  The older nurse was friendly, and we were just chatting about Moms. Unexpectedly my eyes filled with tears. The nurse was kind and understanding, she gave me a hug, and I took a minute to collect myself before I left to go home. Those tears came from nowhere, but I am not ashamed.

My fruit trees get sprayed a few times a year,

I phone the company and I pay them over the phone, over the years the receptionist has become familiar and we chat awhile.  This time I had no idea what set off my tears, but I was something she said had me thinking of Mom.She was always genuinely loving  to me.  She showed her care and kindness to me and others in many ways.

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Today on June 6 there are tears also,

it’s been two years since my Mom, Lillian, passed 11 a.m. on June 6, 2018.

She would be overjoyed that I had my new kidney transplant last year.

She would be proud that I am trying to lose weight and be healthy.

She would be doing her painting, knitting and making her homemade cards for her friends.

She would be enjoying her hummingbirds and the garden in her back yard.

She would soak up every minute of our telephone calls as well as calls to her other family and many friends.

I do celebrate today my mom, Lillian, but I have some regrets I could have done more for her. I wish I had done more to show her what a great person she was, and what she meant to me. She never asked much, visits, a game of crib, a phone call or a card regularly was all she asked for.

If you want to know more about my Mom, click HERE

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The lesson I have learned is

that I don’t have to have a heart attack before I learn a better appreciation of life and what’s important, I will do that NOW

that I don’t have to wait until someone is sick, or injured to tell them that their life is important to me, that I care about them, that I love them, that I think they are special, I will do that NOW

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I’m not ashamed of tears; 

The benefits of crying include:

  1. The release of endorphins
  2. Lowering of stress
  3. The releasing of toxins
  4. It is an emotional signal to other people we need more support
  5. Helps you to sleep better
  6. Its good for your skin
  7. Relieves certain types of headaches, ie. tension headaches
  8. Makes you realise you’ll be okay: the pain ebbs, and the endorphins fill your body.

Don’t shy away. Feel it all; even if you cry happy tears.

(the griefrealityblog:Cry to Me)

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Can’t skip practice if I want to win

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From the top and looking north

My son and daughter motivated me

to climb Giant’s Head mountain a few weeks ago.  I am glad I did and I have climbed it four more times since then. (To learn more about Giant’s Head Mountain – click HERE)

The climb to the top has three routes, the grind, the friendly giant, and the road. I take the road as it is the easiest.  Now it is the easiest of the three routes, but it is not easy.  I normally walk a relaxing kilometre every 15 minutes or so, but the 2.8 kilometres to the top of Giant’s Head mountain takes me nearly an hour.

The walk down is so steep that I must take baby steps also, to avoid hurting my knees.

Now there are a few reasons

that I don’t mind my non-record making pace (also known as glacially slow) , and my frequent stops on the way to the top:

  1. the view all the way up the winding road is amazing.  It is like being in a plane and looking down on the valley below. The valley looks green, the only sounds are birds, and the air is fresh and delicious with every intake.
  2. The exertion I am making is considerable as I am overweight. I am actually proud of myself for climbing to the top despite all of my deep breathing, and fast heart rate that results in the stops enroute.
  3. I know it will take a long time but that means it will be especially satisfying. I know that the difficulty level and long time requirement will result in my greater excitement in achievement.
  4. All my climbs are done with my family, there are no distractions, other than weather, and enjoying the outdoors with them is a 5-Star bonus.

So I walk slowly up the mountain, on the steeper parts of the road, I make only small steps over and over, the heel of my footstep just slightly ahead of the back foot. 

But moving ahead, even if it only seems like barely moving, I am still going up. 

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So that’s my health challenge to myself this summer and the months (years ?) ahead and I have my family’s support, to keep me creeping steadily toward a better healthier me as I climb the mountain.

I know others that regularly climb the mountain and they say when they started a few years ago, they struggled also and yet they persisted and now they can and do walk nearly daily year-round to the viewpoint at the very peak.

That is encouraging for me, a coach in sports would say “you can’t skip practice” and so that is how I see it.

If I want to win at this game, I mustn’t skip practice.

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IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU GO, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT STOP. – CONFUCIUS

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Thank you for visiting “Life and Random Thinking”

I hope whatever mountains that you are climbing that you can continue to make progress, no matter how slowly. – David

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Unexpected Opportunity

Today’s post is the 10th instalment of CB and PB’s story.

Welcome to Life and Random Things. My posts are not all stories, but this short story experiment has a life of it’s own.

The first post was Spread Your Wings .  After I wrote that post, the next two instalments (part 1 and part 2) were what happened the day Ravi left home. 

Ravi left his parents home to go to a new city, a new life, a new job.

If you are new to the series, I hope you will enjoy the story from the beginning with Spread Your Wings .                                   

Thanks for coming along. ♥ – David

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close up photography of vehicle wheel and hankook tire

Photo by Leo Cardelli on Pexels.com

All four tires on my car are flat, and none of them are repairable because someone has stabbed them all in the sidewall.  I worked at tire shop when I was 17 and you can’t repair that type of flat. Can you give me a ride to work CB?” said Ravi calmly to Marie.

It was only Ravi and Marie in the house.  Vita had left early, while it was still dark, to open her coffee shop. Marie was just having some toast and jam before going to work at the bookstore.

Really four flat tires? ” replied Marie, “Are you okay? Aren’t you upset?

Really four flat tires CB“, Ravi replied smiling “I know a flat tire when I see one“, he chuckled, “but no reason to be upset. they were just four used tires, and this is really an opportunity. Now we know how serious this situation is, it’s not a raccoon, or a random prowler. The more I think about it, the better it is.  None of us are hurt, you, me or Vita but now we know Vita needs protection and our help.”

Marie nodded her head, her brown eyes concerned but understanding Ravi’s response.

I can drive you to work in five minutes sweetie,” she popped the last piece of toast in her mouth,  “I need to brush my teeth and then I’m ready to roll!

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warmth of sun

sunrise

Ravi was thoughtful as he waited for Marie. 

At first when he saw the tires on his Honda, he had been a little upset but strangely that went away almost immediately.  Instead he could hear his father in his mind speaking, and he began counting ten breaths.

“things happen in life, some things are important but in the long term don’t matter. As you mature you will know the difference, learn not to react. First decide how important whatever happened really is. Sometimes people get all upset about things they won’t even think about in a week, that don’t matter.

Ravi, the most important lesson to learn when something happens is to take a breath, maybe 10 breaths first, then decide what to do next, because then you will be thinking long term and not in the moment.

Ravi smiled as he waited, he felt like Poppa would be proud that he had not been upset, and had taken ten breaths, and despite everything he felt at peace.

The stabbed tires were a message for Vita, and he knew that. He was sure that his flat tires had nothing to do with him, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He made a list in his head, call Art at Gravelberg Tires, and talk to Marie about Vita and how they could keep her safe.

Tonight also, he would call Poppa and talk to him, and let him know how had he remembered what Poppa had told him. He could have been mad, but he hadn’t.

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Marie brushed her teeth,

and also brushed her hair off her forehead with her other hand. She contemplated Ravi’s words, and how calm he was, only a minute after discovering four flat tires.

How different he was from her past boyfriends, she felt proud of him. Raising her eyebrows thinking, it was a revealing moment for her about Ravi; an opportunity.

In her head, she could hear her Mom’s talk about boyfriends to her;

Crises reveal character honey. You need to date someone long enough that you see how they handle anger, frustration, and hurt. Life has challenges.

When life is all smooth, there is no opportunity for you to really judge character, and you need to know those things to protect yourself and to make the right decision about whether you want to be with that person. 

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appetizer close up cucumber cuisine

Photo by Buenosia Carol on Pexels.com

That night they sat around the table at Vita’s house.  Vita, Ravi and Marie enjoyed their potluck dinner they had planned.

Salad, chicken and french fries along with a side of some serious talk.

The wildlife camera focused on the porch hadn’t helped, it showed no one got close to the house.

Vita had been shocked when Ravi told her about his tires, and she burst into tears, covering her face.

I think I know who did it. I had a boyfriend, Robert, and he had a temper.  I think maybe he has followed me here. “

Ravi said, “If it is okay with you Vita, Marie and I want to stay here with you or you to stay with Marie, just in case.

Marie had told her that there was no way they would leave her alone “Resistance is Futile!” The evening ended with hugs and smiles. All three were staying in Vita’s big house with all it’s bedrooms.

There was lots of space in Vita’s house and it solved everyone’s problems.

Vita didn’t need to sell the house if she shared expenses with Marie and Ravi and they lived together. Marie could help with all the inside work that Vita had no time to do before because of her long hours with Hug-A-Mug.  Ravi would help inside and outside the house including taking care of the yard.

It was really the perfect solution and a real opportunity.  It would be safer for Vita to have housemates, Ravi had wanted to move out of the dark basement suite he moved in, and Marie hated living alone.

Before going off to their rooms they talked about getting a cat or maybe two!

It was all working out, and whatever happened next, they weren’t alone, they were with friends,  and together they were all stronger.

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Tight-lipped Thursday

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Welcome to “Life and Random Thinking”

– the owner of which is having trouble remembering the day of the week it is!  Mea Culpa ♥

Instead of Wordless Wednesday, I found an alternate – Tight-lipped Thursday.

Thanks for dropping by – David ♥

Thanks to the encouragement of my family  I tackled Giant’s Head Mountain in Summerland twice recently, these pics are from the first climb.  Captions for you! 

Giant’s Head is named for it’s profile of a face when viewed from the southeast. The peak is the remnant of a shattered volcano and is about 500 metres above Okanagan lake.

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Today, not tomorrow

Thank you for visiting my blog. 

Yesterday I had a thought for a post,  I hope you will let me know your thoughts. = David

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Today, not tomorrow

Today I can begin.  Today, not tomorrow

I start today to be better. Today, not tomorrow

Today, I will forgive you. Today, not tomorrow

Today I will tell you are important, and you are special. Today I will tell you I want you to be safe, to be happy, to be healthy.  Today, not tomorrow

Today I will be kind to myself, I will judge myself with kindness. Today I will let go of grudges, I will be accepting.  Today, not tomorrow

Today I will plant a seed. A seed of love, of life, of living

Today, not tomorrow.

I begin now, a life without regret.

Now, not later.

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sweet 7

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Dear Mom & Dad, thank you so much

Today I was walking in the rain

and sharing with my son (again) about some of the many gifts I have received from my parents.

My parents gave my brother and I wonderful gifts and experiences growing up.  But there were some gifts I  received that have lasted my lifetime, and I have tried to pass some of them forward.

joy of reading

I love to read

My home always had books growing up, we went to the library at least once a week.  I read comic books, I read the Hardy Boy mysteries, I read Freddy the Pig adventures … I read and I read.

It seemed natural for me growing up for everyone in the family to quietly read, on the couch, at the table, or even laying on the grass outside.

I still love reading, and what a limitless gift it has been in my life, and in my career to have a love of reading and an ability to focus.

I love to learn

I often watched documentaries growing up with my parents. My parents gave me learning gifts many years at Christmas time, including:

  • chemistry sets
  • microscope (it was really neat and had it’s own briefcase)
  • steam engine

I love to try to do-it-myself

Both of my parents were handy. My Mom was artistic, and painted, drew, and made cards. Some of most priceless keepsakes are ones that my Mom made including a pencil drawing of my dog Tiger.

My Dad worked on do-it-yourself projects and changed his own oil and so on.

I learned quickly I didn’t have Mom’s talent but I was able to cut the grass, wash a car, change my oil,  do small art projects.

I don’t (usually) let fear of failure prevent my attempting something new

Dad did all types of projects that he taught himself. He made root beer, wine, sushi, put a cement floor in our garage, he built a garage door, he did flooring and plumbing, and much more.

I think that lesson about not being afraid to fail has been a wonderful gift.

If not for that I would never have tried so many things in my life  including:

  • run a 10K
  • learned to ride a bike
  • gone on road trips
  • taken tai chi classes
  • taken step classes
  • joined Toastmasters
  • tried all types of home projects

SAMSUNG DIGIMAX 420

Thanks Mom & Dad for the many, many ways you gave and still give to my life.  The memories and the lessons aren’t forgotten, in fact I treasure them. – David

 

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